Still on a sick note....

Hey there, 

Well I wish I could give you good news. But nope, I've been continuing the physio which has made slight progress. But nothing has really changed. I feel like I'm taking two tiny steps forward and one big step back. It's hard to describe because although I know there is progress it's so slow and so minimal that I don't feel like it can be measured week by week. I am better than I was back in February but not good enough to walk yet. 

Helen the physio at Physio Plus has been amazing. Not only has she dealt with the injuries to my foot and leg but she's seen me go up and down in mood. It certainly distracts me when she's trying to unknot my calf muscle if I can talk to her about how I'm feeling about being injured. Helen's tried all the conventional treatments on me for plantar fasciitis. Massage, both in my calf which knots up every week to some extent, and in my plantar fascia. That is sore, but it's the kind of pain that you know is actually doing good. She can feel the inflammation in my foot and can judge how it's doing. She's also used ultrasound therapy on the sole of my foot and taping. 

We have also tried acupuncture. I think I'm the biggest sceptic in the world when it comes to alternative and complementary therapies. But I was willing to give it a go. Helen placed tiny thin needles down my calf which didn't hurt at all. I couldn't even feel them. Then she got to the foot. Now if you think about a foot there isn't much padding down there around the bones and in the arch of the foot. So sticking needles under my ankle bone and by my toe joints wasn't pleasant, but was bearable. We then had a discussion about whether to try a point directly in the plantar fascia, basically in the arch of the foot. After consulting with Cathryn, another physio, Helen thought it might be worth a try and I just said "oh go on give it a go!" 

Helen went to put the needle in the sole of my foot, and as it went in I took off from the bed! The pain was bad enough to make me jump! That caused Helen to jump, while Cathryn dissolved into a fit of giggles. After extracting me from a supply cupboard located at the end of the massage bed (no not really) a mutual decision was made to take that needle straight out! Despite my new long jump/high jump PB from a lying flat position, acupuncture didn't really do much.    
I have to say, working with physios who actually have a laugh and a human side, as well as being professional helps so much. I'm able to be honest with Helen about what I think is making a difference and what isn't

I had an appointment with a foot and ankle specialist at the hospital too. I really didn't know what to expect when I went to see him. Helen wrote him a letter describing what we had tried. He asked me to tell him about the injury and said that he thought the first course of treatment should be a cortisone injection into the plantar fascia. My heart sank. Not just because I'd only had a needle in the base of my foot a few weeks earlier courtesy of Helen, but because I've heard about how painful cortisone injections are. But I know that this isn't clearing up on its own. So I sat on the bed and asked the nurse "is this going to hurt?" To which she replied "yes, unfortunately!" Wow, thanks for that, lol. 

Cortisone is a steroid injection which is mixed with a local anaesthetic to help it spread. The doctor felt around the arch of my foot to find where the pain was most acute then injected it. It's done quite slowly. The pain is immense I must say and I did hold the nurses hand. The local anaesthetic numbs the foot for several hours. So by the time I got to the car park my foot was completely asleep. The anaesthetic wore off though after about 3 hours and oh my god did the pain kick in. The cortisone can cause a flash reaction where the pain increases temporarily and I ended up back on my crutches for 2 days. 

Once the immediate pain of the flash wore off I was anxiously hoping for an improvement in my foot, however up to now, 8 days later, my foot feels the same as it did before the jab. I have to go back to the hospital in 6 weeks and the doctor has said he is then going to consider a treatment that is basically when my own blood is taken and injected into the damaged tendon. 

My mood has been up and down over the past few weeks. I honestly believe the Internet does more good than harm but you always get idiots. A group of keyboard warriors found this blog and decided to take the piss out of me for running, having been overweight and diabetic and my mental health problems. I find it strange that people think that by throwing something I'm completely honest about they're going to hurt me. I mean calling someone "fat" or "forest gump" is rather infantile even by my standards, and I'm not the most grown up adult out there, however I believe it said more about them than me. I'll always be proud of what I achieved through running and even though this injury has become more serious than I thought I'll get back to running eventually. 

Helen and I have discussed the running and come to a decision that 2013 is not realistic to run again as I can't walk without pain. So I'm using the rest of the year to recover and start psyching myself up for 2014. It's been hard deferring my places that I already had in runs, mentally seeing others start the road running season with aims and goals really did hit hard. But I can come back stronger next year by taking it easy and doing as I'm told this year. 

As you know I like to raise funds for charity and this year it's for David Rathband's blue lamp foundation.  I had said I'd run all year for them but that's not possible so I've had a rethink. I'm now going to swim 190 miles for the cause, which was David's badge number, and ironically the distant between the Tyne Bridge and Stafford University, as I'm a Geordie lass and David was from Stafford. I'm just thankful he wasn't Tango 1900 as 190 miles is far enough to swim. If you want to donate to my just giving page it's at www.justgiving.com/howaythelass and I'm aiming to raise £1000, to help the emergency services personnel injured on duty. Any donations are received with thanks. 

So that's where I'm at. A long way to go. But you know me, I'm not one for giving in! 

No light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, 

I bet you've all been wondering where I got to. Aye right. None of you missed me eh? Well let's bring everything up to date. Last time I blogged I had just completed the Great North Run, and had been injured at mile 5. 

I'm still injured. I went to the Walk in centre 3 times immediately after the Great North Run although they should have called it the limp in centre. I felt like something was stabbing into the bottom of my foot. I thought maybe I had a stress fracture or something but the nurse practitioner assured me that where the pain was located wouldn't suggest a stress fracture. Eventually my GP arranged an x-ray for me just to be on the safe side and it came back clear so it was obviously soft tissue damage. I thought a bit of a rest and ice and stuff would sort it. So I rested, and iced, and did some basic stretching and got frustrated as September turned into October into November and Christmas arrived with me still sore. 

I knew there was a problem with my Achilles' tendon but my foot felt so weird. It was as if I had a tight rubber band across the sole of my foot. The GP arranged for me to see the bio mechanical people at the hospital and although I saw the NHS physio I didn't really get any relief. 

When the New Year came I decided to try and run a mile to see what my foot felt like. What a mistake. My Achilles' tendon tightened straight up, the stabbing pain in my foot returned after half a mile and although I finished the mile I limped back home feeling dejected and down. 

I needed to do something. Just resting my foot wasn't making a blind bit of difference so after seeking advice about private Physios I booked in for an assessment at Physio plus in Newcastle. Immediately I felt like I was addressing the problem properly. After explaining the symptoms the sports therapist checked my legs in various ways such as stretching to see how flexible both legs were, got me to push against her hands with my feet, or stop her from moving my feet, and standing on one leg. 

She gave me a sports massage to loosen my tight calf, which wasn't the most pleasant thing when you are sore. She wasn't 100% sure what was wrong and so made an appointment for me to see the physio to check it wasn't a nerve problem as I could feel pain in my foot when she was massaging my calf. 

The following week I went to see Helen, who repeated some of the tests done the week before, massages my very tight left calf, 
massaged the sole of my foot and said she could feel tenderness and resistance in it. Then she taped my foot up. I was a bit sceptical that a bit of tape might make any difference but I walked out of the physio's that week a lot easier than I walked in.

The appointments since have seen me have my calf unknotted each week, as it seems to like tightening back up at any given opportunity, some ultrasound, which doesn't hurt, some tens therapy, which while it feels like pins and needles again doesn't hurt and taping of my foot. A diagnosis of plantar fasciitis has been made. My Achilles is also very tight and my calf is obviously a problem 
too. I can link it all back to my sore calf after the Jane Tomlinson 10k in Leeds back last July. It goes to show that not getting treated swiftly after an injury can impact massively. 

I've also seen the biomechanics department and after a similar assessment I was given orthotics to wear in my shoes, and have to go back in April. Helen the physio has suggested that I ask my GP to make a referal to the foot and ankle specialist at the local hospital to see what they believe the best treatment is for my foot as it isn't resounding very quickly to treatment and it continuously feels like two steps forward and one step back. 

I have no return date set for running yet. We have to get to a point where I can walk comfortably without pain before I can even think about that. I have found it very hard to motivate myself and have been frustrated and even depressed about this injury. I used running as a way of dealing with my stress, and seeing others progressing while I have no light at the end of the tunnel is hard. 

I'm now watching 10k's come up which I should be running but can't. The North Tyneside 10k is at the end of March and I have no hope of doing that. The Blaydon Race which I ended like a drowned rat last year is only 3 months away. It's very frustrating to not know if I'll be running any time soon. 

the longest mile

As you might remember from last time I had a bit of a set back with an injury to my foot. It really put the whole run in jeopardy. Despite all the training I have done in the past year there is no way I was going to risk a permanent injury. However I didn't want to let down the people who had sponsored me throughout my training too. My total stands at this point at £741 and you can still sponsor me here hint hint, lol.

I didn't run at all until the Sunday before the Great North Run. The crutches were a complete pain, making my shoulders and back ache but they were a necessary evil. On the Sunday before the Great North Run I did a slow paced 5k run to test my foot, and despite it being a couple of minutes slower than my usual 5k time I got round without any reaction to my injury. For the rest of the week I continued to rest and made sure I didn't stress the foot any further.

On the Saturday night I taped my foot and ankle with KT tape  and taped my toes which are prone to blisters. I felt like a bairn at christmas when I went to bed. I had asked my pal Graham to give me an alarm call at 6.30am if he hadn't heard from me before that to make sure I didn't sleep in. I was full of nerves and excitement and could I sleep? Could I heck! I was up and down like a yo-yo and was really hacked off by 3am. I was sure I would have trouble getting up when my alarm went off at 6am.

However when my alarm went off I was up and raring to go. I had my shower then my porridge and coffee and was out the door to catch the metro at 8am to meet my other friend Karen in Newcastle.

So many people were on Northumberland Street in Newcastle when I emerged from Monument metro. I saw teddy bears, batman and robin, cavemen and runners in all sorts of charity vests and t-shirts as well as the club runners making their way up to the start line. Despite being in Newcastle early I managed to miss the baggage bus by 1 minute, and had to put my bag into the late van!

After hugging Karen, who was in another pen, I made my way into my area and wandered about until I found a space that felt right. I got talking to a few girls around me who were psyching themselves up for the run and for once I actually joined in the warmup. We all agreed that we had a massive amount of butterflies in our stomach. Just before the race began the Red Arrows flew overhead which was immense.

It took a while to walk to the start line but with each step my nerves seemed to decrease. And then we were off. Along the central motorway with people already cheering us on and I felt good. Running through the tunnelled parts chants of "Oggy Oggy Oggy" were met with "Oi Oi Oi" and a mile flew past. Before I knew it I was at the Tyne Bridge, and I actually got goosebumps as I ran over the iconic landmark and was through the 2 mile point with ease and heading towards Gateshead International Stadium.

At 3 miles I took my first energy gel and grabbed a bottle of water at the drinks station to wash it down. The people at the sides of the road clapped and cheered us on despite the drizzly rain. Four miles down and I was actually enjoying the run. Then at just before five miles I felt a twinge in my foot, I managed to get to 5 miles in 55 minutes which was a cracking time but my foot was starting to really hurt.

I decided to walk for a while and see what happened. I walked for about 100m then started jogging again, and basically this was my strategy for the next 8 miles. I would run for as far as I could before the pain in my foot would force me to walk for a while. I knew my brilliant first 5 miles had been whittled away by the injury but still hoped to get to the finish before the 3 hour mark. My friend Ali would be between the 10 and 11 mile point and so I focused on getting there, getting a hug and a pep talk and making it to the end of the run.

Each mile was becoming harder and harder as not only the pain in my foot increased but my toes started to blister too. I kept overtaking people around me, but would be overtaken back by them when I walked and then overtake them again when I ran again. At 8 miles I took another energy gel and got a bottle of water and a hug from British Paralympian and one of my sporting heroines, Tanni Grey-Thompson. That was a massive boost for me. As the roundabout approached where Ali would be I spotted her immediately and ran to get a hug. I can remember saying "Ali I'm struggling" but I can't remember what she said to me, but it gave me a boost. She got her lads to unwrap some chewy sweets for me to carry with me to keep me going, got me psyched up again, took a couple of photos and then I was away again.

Each step was now agony. I passed through mile 11, the Killer hill, and on to mile 12. There is a steep downhill section before you turn on to the sea front. I tried to run this, but the force of going downhill on my foot was too much and I was slowed to a walk again. A lass in front of me was running well when all of a sudden she pulled up too. By the looks of it something in her knee had gone and she just about collapsed. St Johns Ambulance were soon with her but as I passed her she was protesting that she would be finishing.

Turning on to the sea front I passed the mile 12 point and knew I was nearly finished. However I think it is the longest mile I have ever done. It just seemed to go on and on and on. I was definitely on empty. Each step now felt like I was treading on glass, my toes were blistered, my foot was shooting a sharp pain through it whenever I put weight on it. I was trying to concentrate on anything other than the pain, and looked for my family in the crowds, as I knew they would be at the end of the run somewhere.

As I approached the end of the run I could see the finish line, and putting in one last burst of effort crossed the line, forgetting to stop my garmin as I did! DUH! The feeling of elation was something I can't describe. I had done it. My mobile phone buzzed and my official time came through and it was 3 hours 8 mins and 42 seconds. Slower than I had hoped but considering I had struggled for 8 miles, missing my goal of 2 hours 45 minutes by 23 minutes was nothing. I had done it!

The longest walk of my life then ensued as I made my way from the finish line to the T-shirt point. I limped my way to the goody bag point and on to the exit towards the NSPCC marquee when I saw my brother and his lass. The hug he gave me has never felt so welcoming. He grabbed hold of me and just about carried me to the tent, where my mam was waiting with a coffee and a massive hug that nearly suffocated me. The NSPCC team were giving out bananas, donuts, coffees and more importantly massages and I got my calves immediately massaged while my friends Clare and Barry who had just finished too came and chatted but I'm not too sure I was good company at that point lol.

I still cannot believe that I have completed a half marathon. It has amazed me that a lass who couldn't easily walk 2 miles 18 months ago has completed 13 miles. I need to rest my foot for a while but I will be back and on to my next fundraising project soon.

Last minute setback

For the last 15 months I have been training hard to both lose weight and get myself fit enough to run the Great North Run, and I can't count the hours and miles I have put in so that I reach my goal on September 16th. I've lost 58lbs in weight and so many people have sponsored me on my Justgiving page here that not only did I raise the £400 required by the NSPCC but I blasted through my own £500 target and am now at 125% of my target. I want to thank everyone who has donated money, each donation has shown me that people believe in me.

Over the last year, though, I have had a recurring nightmare that I would injure myself just before the big day and not be able to run. I have been pretty lucky when it comes to injuries this year, nothing more than a few pulled muscles and nasty blisters have hit me. But just when I thought I was home free, two weeks ago I suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in my foot while I was out running with Tyne Bridge Harriers.  I managed to finish the session, got home and immediately iced my foot with my medicinal broccoli.

However the pain and swelling in my foot didn't subside as quickly as I would have liked. I am sure runners will know exactly what I mean when I say I didn't want to get my foot checked out, for fear of being told it was a serious injury and that I wouldn't be able to run. However after a week of painkillers, rest and ice the pain in my foot was too much to bear. The result:

Possible stress fracture, foot immobilised and crutches. I was devastated! However it was exactly what my foot needed. Being immobilised and with the aid of the crutches I have felt a massive improvement in it, and have managed to go through today without the crutches. The pain has subsided so much, and while my calf and Achilles feel a bit tight I am a lot more hopeful of running a week on Sunday.

I am not going to risk a more serious injury, if there is any doubt in my mind at all I won't run, however I am not prepared to just sit on my backside and mope about it.

I got a tweet off a follower who asked me to consider entering a piece to Sky Tyne and Wear about why I am doing the Great North run and I am going to. I feel that I have a duty to pass on my experience of losing weight and getting fit to others. I am no different to anyone else who struggles to lose weight. The thing I discovered was that I had to have goals and determination to get where I want to be and if I could help other people realise that with effort and belief they can get to where they want to get to then it would make my achievements all the sweeter.

So for the next 10 days I am concentrating on cycling, resting and hopefully I will be lining up in Newcastle on September 16th to achieve a lifetime goal. Keep everything crossed for me.

Constantly improving

The last fortnight has been magnificent in terms of running. First up was the Jane Tomlinson 10k.  Jane Tomlinson was a truly inspirational woman. Diagnosed with breast cancer and given 12 months to live in 2000, Jane defied all the doctors predictions and competed in the London Marathon twice, the New York Marathon, two London Triathlons and cycled over Europe and the USA. She raised a remarkable  £1.85 million for charity. Her "run for all" races in Leeds, York and Hull live on as a testimony to a wonderful woman.

It was certainly the biggest race I have ran in up to now. The day dawned and the sun shone for Jane. In fact it was a beautiful summers day in what has been undoubtedly the wettest summer in years. As I made my way to Millennium Square in Leeds I was looking forward to the run, hoping for a good time.  The groups for the start were banded into "runners', "joggers" and walkers. I was in the middle section.

The start was very crowded, and there was a real jostle for places in the first mile. Elbows were certainly being employed as people fought for a space to run in. This wasn't helped by people who were obviously planning to walk the run starting with the joggers, and trying to manoeuvre around people strolling 5 abreast was not easy. However I managed the first mile in 10 minutes 13 seconds and from there the field certainly thinned out.

The event is certainly well planned. The marshals are along there with the best I have experienced so far, friendly and encouraging and the first 3 miles passed in a very pleasing 31 minutes and 54 seconds. The day was warm and there were water stations every two miles, which was very welcome and I managed to drink on the run without sluicing out my sinuses and then poured some water over my head which helped cooling me down

I definitely felt myself tiring by the end of the race despite the course being flat and the last mile seemed to drag. The finish line was back at the Headrow in Leeds and it seemed like there was always another corner to turn. I heard someone shout "Howay Geordie" as I passed them. Wearing my Tyne Bridge Harriers shirt definitely helped and I crossed the line in a PB of 1 hour 10 minutes and 30 seconds, a cracking 4 minutes faster than my previous 10k time.

With my medal after finishing

There wasn't much of a rest for me, with Tyne Bridge Harriers hosting their first ever "Bridges of the Tyne" run the next Tuesday. A lot of planning has gone into this 5 mile run and I felt honoured to be one of the small group of participants to take part in the inaugeral event. Meeting up with my friends Paul and Karen at the Tyne Bar, we found that the registration point was well manned and got very busy before the start. 

We walked along to the Pitcher and Piano on Newcastle Quayside as a group and it wasn't long before we were on our marks, set, GO! I had agreed to run with my great friend Davina. It's lovely to be able to run with someone who you can have a good natter with and enjoy the time. As the speedy gonzaleses flew away, Davina and I were running at a steady pace and got through the first mile in 10 minutes 57 seconds. Considering my legs, and especially my quads, were still aching from Sunday I was delighted with this. As we were approaching the mile and a half point the front runners were already coming back, and words of encouragement flew between both groups. 

The second mile approached just before a small climb up into the business park before a greasy run, partly on grass then down a few steps before ending up back down at the riverside. We reached the 3 mile point in 34 minutes and 36 seconds and I was feeling strong. The more I ran the easier my legs were feeling. There was plenty of encouragement from members of the public as we ran back towards the Tyne and Millennium Bridges. At this point I started pulling away from Davina, as I was feeling very strong in the final mile. I picked up my pace and as I was nearing the finish line I looked at my Garmin, and saw it had just gone past the 59 minute mark. I told myself that I could get there under the hour and started sprinting. 

So fast I am blurry lol. 

With Karen, Paul and the others gathered at the finish line cheering me on I crossed over the line in 59 minutes 53 seconds. I was absolutely delighted! Two races in two days with great times. I had thoroughly enjoyed both races and hope that Tyne Bridge Harriers will be making this run an annual event. It's now 9 weeks until the Great North Run and these races have definitely been great preparation for the big one. Next up is the Great North 10k and I am hoping for a solid performance in that too. Til next time....keep on keeping on! 

13.1 miles or bust

Ahhh depression, my arch nemesis. You stride into my life again! Yup, just as I thought things were going hunky dory then my little black rain cloud found me for another week or so of trying times. I knew that it was basically a time for me to lick my wounds for a little while, take it easy and then power back into real life and get on with it.

I got all my exam results back and passed my first year at University. To say I am proud of that is an understatement. I was dreading an August return for resits as it would clash with the bairns' summer holidays and revision would be nigh on impossible with the children around. But I passed all exams and can now relax over the summer and recharge the batteries ready for September and year 2.

The running took a back seat for the week where I didn't feel too well. I was elated after the Blaydon Race and had hoped to capitalise on a great run with some more excellent training, but when you haven't got the energy to do much more than drag yourself out of bed each day running has to take a spell on the back burner.

However I managed to try a run last Tuesday, got half a mile into it, felt my nose running and went to wipe it. I was surprised to see blood, and then realised that I was having the mother of all nosebleeds for no apparent reason. There was no stopping the blood and I knew my run was going to be postponed when someone on a bike asked me if I was going to be ok. When I got back home I looked as if I had survived the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No point in keeping the t-shirt, into the bin it went, and off I went into the shower.

The next day I went out again. This time there was no Freddy Kruger victim impressions, just a nice 5km run to get me back into the swing of running and I knew I felt much better. I found myself agreeing to attempt a 13.1 mile run on the Saturday as part of the Longest Day Run event.  The next day I got a solid 5 mile run in and felt great.

I felt the nerves kick in on the Friday night, what the heck had I agreed to do? My longest run so far was 8 miles and that was a couple of months ago. What made me think I could run 13.1 miles yet? I went to Sweatshop in the Metrocentre and bought some gels and some lucozade Jelly beans to try out on my run. I was happy to see a Blue Lamp Foundation collection tin in the shop too.

I was up bright and early on the Saturday Morning and headed to Byker Pool to meet my running partners Graham and Brian. Graham is running 2012 miles in 2012 for the Tony Blair Foundation and is an all round nice guy to boot. I had only met Brian once before but he seemed like a friendly chap, although for some reason I thought he was called Billy all day and kept calling him that, lol.

We set off at a very easy pace. From the Pool we headed down towards the River Tyne and along the Quayside, past the Millenium, Tyne and Swing Bridges and along the front of the Copthorne Hotel before heading up towards the Scotswood road through the business park. Four miles were already in the bag, and I took one of the energy gels I had bought. My goodness, they are an aquired taste!

As we were running along the Scotswood road I would love to say that I remembered the Blaydon Race from the previous blog posting, but seeing as I couldn't see a blooming thing on that run due to the rain I couldn't. The lads were great company, chatting, keeping the mileage updated and being really positive.

Up and over the Scotswood bridge, and onto the south side of the Tyne. We were closing in on the half way point and I can't think of a time I have been as happy to set foot on the south side of the river. We had broken the back of the run now, we were heading back towards Newcastle and here was the time to dig in and run.

We passed the Metro Centre, all chewed a few lucozade jelly beans, and headed into Dunston. I found that I had a claggy mouth, due to the gels and the lucozade isotonic drink I was supping and so we had a 2 minute pit stop while Graham bought a bottle of water. I knew I needed water as I had been fantasising about soda water for the past half a mile, while Brian said he was looking forward to a Strongbow!

I then found that it's easy to just keep running than trying to restart after a brief stop. I can only describe it as trying to get an old motorbike to start again. After a brief splutter my legs started again, and we headed along to the riverside. I could see the bridges up ahead and knew that we would be around the 10 mile mark when we got to the swing bridge.

My legs were still feeling ok at this point, breathing fine, but I knew I was starting to feel a bit tired. I was now concentrating on the end of the run rather than just enjoying the run, as I had been up to that point. We ran along the south side of the river, along passed the Sage and then across the Millenium bridge. More water was needed and we had a quick stop at the Tesco behind the court. Then off towards the back of the Copthorne Hotel, and 11 miles was clocked up. I told Graham not to tell me how far we had run until we got to 12 miles, as I was starting to really struggle now.

Along the Quayside once again, past the swing bridge, under the Tyne bridge, passed the Pitcher and Piano and the Millenium bridge again. Passed the 12 mile mark. And then disaster. My head said "NO MORE!" We were at 12.3 miles, less than a mile to go and I had stopped. My legs felt like lead, my head was saying "You can't go on" I felt like crying. Graham and Brian came back and really gave me a good pep talk. I just had to tell myself that I could do it. Less than a mile. HOWAY THE LASS!!!

And with determination from somewhere, I don't know where, I put one foot in front of the other. I dug deep and just let the lads go in front of me. They kept calling back to me, but I wasn't really sure what was being said, I was just in a place where there was just me, just one foot in front of the other, each step getting me closer to the end of the run. And then Graham and Brian had created a finish line and said "All the way across the line" and as I staggered past them I realised I had done it! 13.1 miles! I had made it!

A look at Brian's Garmin told me a time of 2 hours 54 mins and 27 seconds. Under 3 hours! I couldn't believe it! For a lass who couldn't run for more than 30 seconds at a time last August finishing my first half marathon distance run was mind-blowing. And I have 3 months until the Great North Run to improve my time.

Graham and me after finishing the 13.1 miles. 

My legs felt like cement from the minute I stopped running. We finished just beside where the Evolution festival is held and had to walk back up the hill to Byker pool, my little legs were screaming out in agony with each step, I could feel blisters on my left foot, one which popped as I was walking back. But I had done it, the elation of completing the longest run of my life made each step bearable. Thank you Graham and (Billy) Brian who carried me, metaphorically, to the finish. I now know that I can do the full half-marathon distance, I now know that come September I WILL finish the Great North Run!

Sobriety rocks

Today I reached another milestone in this great journey that I've undertaken. I am now 2 years and 8 months sober. To say that still totally amazes me. Becoming sober and moving from an alcoholic to a recovering alcoholic has been one of the best things I have ever done. I spoke in my very first post about some of the physical difficulties of stopping drinking.

The first week of coming off the alcohol was awful. The only way I can describe it is like a horrendous bout of flu, not a cold, but proper FLU! My body ached, my head pounded constantly, I sweated, I shook, I vomited and I physically hurt. I had to literally hold onto the mattress on my bed to stop myself getting out of bed in the middle of the night to go and buy alcohol. The craving was horrendous. I had nightmares, I felt like I was dying. Then on the fifth day I woke up and I felt amazing. The headache that I had lived with for years, but never even realised I had was gone. The diarrhoea that I had for years had stopped. I felt as if I suddenly had a veil lifted off me.

From that point on it was about living as an ex-drinker. The physical cravings were gone. The mental cravings would take longer to beat. With the help of AA I attended 90 meetings in 90 days. I had to get the support from people who knew what it was like to go through the pain of alcoholism. It was also in the middle of the break in the football season, which helped me immensely. I knew that I wasn't going to be tempted into pubs before the game which in the early days of my recovery would have been impossible to deal with. When the season started again I had to change my routine on match days. That meant having to change who I was meeting with before games too. I still liked my friends, but the temptation was too much. Funnily enough now I still see these people at the match, but have made a whole new set of friends that I go to the game with now.

After a while I found I was able to start going back to the pubs pre-match. That took time though. Initially when I went back into the bars I couldn't stand the smell of stale beer. It made me feel sick. Now I don't notice it that much. I also don't find not drinking alcohol as hard to take. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I think "Oh I would love a pint of bitter" or whatever, but I know that what I have gained from sobriety matters much more than the taste of beer. I can go out now, drink soft drinks and have such a good time without them. I've been to festivals, derby matches and parties and have enjoyed myself as much, if not more than when I was drinking.

Proud to be a Tyne Bridge Harrier!

Anyway, on to the fitness front. My legs suffered after the 10k last weekend. I don't know if it was the terrain, the actually race itself or the driving to and back from Leeds in less than 24 hours but my hamstrings suffered. On Tuesday the Tyne Bridge Harriers had their final winter Grand Prix run, a 5k around the Quayside in Newcastle. I ran down to the start point and nearly decided to pull out due to the tight feeling in my thighs. However I decided to go for it, and 3 miles has never felt as hard for a long time. I ran it in 36.29 mins, but it felt like a struggle. I tried some stretching on the Tuesday night and Wednesday but the Thursday night run felt hard too. So I decided I needed to rest, and not do the Parkrun in Newcastle on the Saturday and do a longer, slower run on the Sunday.

I aimed for a 7.5 to 8 mile run on the Sunday, which would be my longest run to date. Despite it being quite foggy when I got to Tynemouth it was already warm. However I noticed straight away that my legs felt so much fresher than they had on the Thursday and was able to run more freely. I love being able to run and get my head into that relaxed zone, where I work through any stresses and get time to chill out. Before I knew it I had reached the four mile point, just before St Mary's Lighthouse and turned to run back.

As I was running back I was passed by Denise, Vikki and Jude from the Harriers who all offered me supportive words. It's amazing how great having others acknowledge your effort on a run can feel. Whether its someone shouting at you, a few words as they pass, a thumbs up or a nod of the head the message really helps you along. My legs started feeling the effort by mile 6, and I needed to get some inspiration. I thought about how David Rathband had managed to overcome his injuries and run when he was still recovering. I also thought about how Kath, Ash and Mia had been through so much and that helped keep my legs going. It brings it home to you how lucky you are at times like this.

Just after that a car pulled up alongside me, and at first I wasn't sure what was going on but then saw that Denise, Vikki and Jude were yelling support for me from the car! That was so brilliant, it was as if I had been given a carbs boost. I knew then that I would get back to Tynemouth and focused on that. I can't explain how I felt as I passed the priory at Tynemouth and knew I had ran 8 miles for the first time ever in my life. You definitely get an endorphin rush when you run, but the achievement of being able to run and the massive changes that have happened in my life in the last 2 years 8 months hit me. I have raised nearly £1000 in the last 18 months, and am only £36 away from raising £500 for the NSPCC when I do the Great North Run in September. I had to sit in my car for a little while and just take in what I've done and the belief and support I've had from my friends and family. Thank you all.

I know I still have a long way to go. I'll keep drawing inspiration from people like Mark Allison (aka Rungeordierun), Ivan and Nadine who are raising funds for the Children's Heart Unit at the Freeman Hospital, and the Rathband family and I'm going to reach my goals for everyone who has shown that they believe in me. I'm not going to let you down!

Taking 10

After my last 5k run, which was the Great Winter run in Edinburgh in January, it felt like such a long time until the next run. Well no-one told time that, because my very first 10k, The Wrap up and Run 10k, came hurtling at me and arrived like a big scary monster today. After travelling down to Leeds yesterday and staying with my brother overnight, it was just a short journey to Harewood House to make my next step on my journey to the Great North Run. 

Pre-run, there was a great little assembly area with a stage with a PA guy, a baggage tent, a load of portaloos, a coffee/burger van and an ice-cream van. The PA guy kept giving regular updates about when the race would be starting and announced that a warm up session was going to be held before the run. Now these group warm up's aren't really my thing. I like to try and just get into my own zone and do my own warm up, so while the majority of others were doing some aerobics I went through my own dynamic stretching routine. 

Me doing my warm-up routine!

The race was delayed by 5 minutes because of the weight of traffic still trying to get into the venue, but it wasn't long before the PA guy asked all the sub 45 minute runners to line up, followed by the sub 60 minute runners, then finally the runners for over and hour, which was my call. We weren't made to wait for long at all before the race began, and it took about 3 minutes to filter everyone through. 

When I entered this run it was advertised in runners world as a flat road race. I thought that it sounded perfect. The start of the run was on grass for about the first kilometre, before it moved onto trails that you find in most woodlands and it was very muddy in places and where it wasn't it was stony and very uneven. If I had known this I would have bought/borrowed some trail shoes. It was also the Yorkshire type of flat, which is more commonly known as undulating everywhere else. 

Despite this I completed my first 5k in 36 mins 42 seconds, before reaching the drinks station. Due to the water bottles being screw-top I found out that I can't run and drink water at the same time. Well not without giving my sinuses a good rinse out. So I slowed down to a walk to take some water on. Looking back now I shouldn't have bothered and should have just kept running, but hey ho. 

We were warned pre-run about a hill at about the 7km stage. What they didn't say was that it was blooming massive and went on for well over a kilometre and was so steep that there was no way that I could run up it. I got about 1/4 of the way up before I had to stop running. Not even the hill-work at Tyne Bridge Harriers earlier this week was going to get me up this hill. I decided the best thing to do was to walk up it, and save my energy to finish off the run. 

A Kite waiting to pick off any stragglers on the hill. 

As soon as I reached the top of the hill I started to run again. I knew I had less than 2k left, and had a chance of getting to the finish before my target time. I knew I could make it to the end, and so focused on the task in hand. It wasn't long before we were turning back into the field we had started at. As I crossed the finish line I stopped my watch at 1hr 19mins 51 seconds. I was made up. I had wanted to finish before 1hr 20mins and I had squeaked in with 9 seconds to spare. I collected a bottle of water, Mars Bar and T-shirt, no medal booooooooo, and found my brother just outside the finishing area. 

Within minutes of finishing I received a text from the organisers with both my time from the gun and the time from my timing chip crossing the start line, and my chip time was spot on 1hr 19mins 51seconds. Brilliant. I wasn't last either which was my main fear. I checked my pace on my Garmin and had averaged 12.44 per mile which was great, considering the hill of death had certainly taken its toll. 

The biggest downside of the day was trying to get out of Harewood house. We finally got out 1 hour and 20 minutes after I finished! It seriously took me longer to get out the car parking area and back on the road home than it did to run the 10k! However all in all it was a great event. 

Getting it back together

I'm currently in another episode of "low mood". Warning for any lads who don't want to read about women's problems, skip the next paragraph.

Basically since December my period has been continuous with only 7 days where I haven't been bleeding. I am absolutely exhausted. I've been to the doctors, she has done various (unpleasant) tests and everything has come back clear. So now I am on some tablets to stop me from bleeding for the next ten days to give my body a rest and I have to go for an ultrasound scan.

Secondly my middle child is going through a pretty bad spell. She has some emotional problems and has been refusing to go to school meaning that every day is a battle. She has been given a "managed move" so that she can try another school but this has taken a while to get through, and in the meantime her behaviour has been appalling and has been so stressful to me and the other bairns. She is now attending CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services) and I am hoping that this can help her.

These things have obviously had a knock-on effect with my training and also my diet, but I also know that I am needing to get my head back on track. I can't use these as an excuse. So I have decided to draw a line under the last few weeks and this week is the start of new things.

I went to David Fairlamb's bootcamp on Saturday, despite feeling a bit rough with the health problems mentioned earlier, but I wanted to give 100% and was completely shattered when I finished. We had an unusual participant at bootcamp this week. Mark Allison (aka RunGeordieRun) is toying with the idea of doing the London Marathon dressed as a lion (as you do) and so completed bootcamp in his costume. He looked like he had been in a sauna when he took the head off at the end. I can't imagine how he managed it, as I find it hard enough to do bootcamp in jogging pants and 3 layers on a cold day.

I have entered the Blaydon Race in June. So that is another build up run booked in on my journey to the Great North Run in September. It's the same weekend as the Download festival that I was planning to go to, and part of me can't believe that I'm giving up 5 days of rocking out to run from Newcastle to Blaydon, but I know that come June I will have done the right thing. Running is becoming a massively important part of my life.

Then yesterday I had a particularly stressful morning with the bairn, and got home after an hour and a half's struggle to get her to go into school. My head was shouting to hit the bottle or reach for food and I was scared I was going to crack. So I put my running shoes on, headed to Tynemouth and went for a run. I have to use healthy coping strategies to deal with stress and going for a run is certainly preferable to comfort eating and I don't want to break my sobriety after 2 and a half years. Running along the coast is amazing, to be able to focus on the scenery, to be able to put my all in physically and to remember that back in August I could only run for 30 seconds with a 2 minute recovery is certainly better than binging on chocolate.

Then last night I returned to Tyne Bridge Harriers. I am determined to continue running with them, I feel like I can improve massively with them, and think I will be putting my application in to officially join them soon. I was running with Steve last night, and despite being slower than the others he kept me going, setting me small targets and encouraging me on. I know that as the weight comes off I will get faster, I still have a long way to go weight wise but by running, going to bootcamp and eating right I will get there.

As I am feeling tired I am wanting to make sure I get plenty of rest this week, and so I'm setting myself a 10.30pm bedtime this week. It can only do me good. So this next week is about being disciplined. I need to concentrate on my food, my exercise and also my sleep and make sure that I am hitting my targets. I will do it!

I'm lapping people on the sofa

I reached 2 goals since the last post. I reached the landmark of 50lbs lost and I also raised the minimum amount needed for me to do the Great North Run in September. Both goals are absolutely remarkable. The weight loss has made a massive difference in my life. I feel so much better health wise, I feel that I am in control of my weight, not the other way around. The sponsorship target being met means so much more than £400 raised for the NSPCC. In reality it shows me how much my friends and family believe in me. I want to thank each and every one of you who has helped me, not only to reach the £400 for the NSPCC but also for helping me to raise over £500 for Mental Health Matters in the year previous.

I have had a bit of a sore hip at the moment, but with some ice on it after training and some ibuprofen I am not hurting too much. I went to bootcamp on Saturday, and despite it being cold it was an exhilarating experience. I came away from the session feeling like I had worked hard and I knew I had worked hard.

This week saw me try something brand new. For a while my friend Mark, aka Run Geordie Run, has been encouraging me to come along to Tyne Bridge Harriers to go running. I was going to go in November but I picked up the calf strain. Then if I am honest I was too scared to go. Social anxiety is a problem I have to deal with and I have been avoiding going to the club as I was scared that I would be too fat and too slow to run with a group, and I didn't know if I could deal with.

Last night I went to my first training session. I was the slowest in the group, and I was last, but it didn't matter. The group was so encouraging. One of the trainers ran with me, and I managed to complete the circuit. Then I read something this morning that made me think about what I was doing, it said "It doesn't matter how slow you go, you're still lapping those sat on the sofa!" That's what matters to me, I might be the slowest runner BUT I am doing something about it. Last night made me think back to last August when I struggled to run for 30 seconds when I started couch to 5k. Now I have completed two 5k runs, can run 5 miles and am confident that I'll manage the 10k I'm booked in for in March.

I think losing weight, and getting fitter, has a lot to do with mental attitude. If you think you'll fail then you will fail. If you believe you can do it, if you eat less, move more and keep going then you will lose weight, get fitter and feel better. It sounds simple because really it is. Willpower, motivation and dedication is what you need (as Roy Castle would have said). I plan to go back to the running club, and it doesn't matter if I'm the slowest, lagging behind at the back because at least I'm trying and that is the most important thing.

Participate, Enjoy, Suceed.

I travelled up to Edinburgh for my second ever 5k run. The run was the Great Winter Run organised by the same company who organise the Great North Run.

This run was definitely more professionally organised. The pre-run pack included a timing chip for my shoes, my race number with my name on it and loads of information about Edinburgh and the run itself.

I stayed up in Edinburgh on the Friday night and can't fault Premier Inn once again. The staff at Haymarket Premier Inn were really great, warm and friendly.

On the Saturday morning we headed over to Holyrood Park. The park was buzzing with people watching young Scots children running cross-country and they were very impressive.

At 10.50am we lined up and were led in a group warm up. I couldn't see what was going on at the front so at first I tried to copy everyone. In the end I just concentrated on stretching as best I could and getting myself warned up.

There were a lot more people at this event than the last one and we were separated into 4 different starting groups depending on our predicted finish time. I was in the last group to start, Green.

When the run got going it was hard to find my own place to run. For the first half mile people were bunched up before the steep climb began. The uphill section must have continued for about a mile and a half. I found it hard to regulate my breathing, and I was pleased to get to the flatter section. Some people had stopped running and were walking so I passed a lot of people on the uphill section.

After the 2km sign, which also had music blasting, I ditched my gloves as they were annoying the heck out of me. The views were completely stunning, but I didn't have much time to admire them.

My first mile had been slower than I had wanted, due to the vast uphill section, but once the ground was flatter I managed to pick up my pace. I just kept my own run going, occasionally focussing on someone in front as a target to catch up with then once I'd passed them I focused on a new person.

My last mile was the quickest I've ever done at 10.38. It was all downhill and I had to hold myself back, from running even faster. At the mile point I had known I wasn't going to beat my Personal Best from Glasgow, which was 36.37 mins.

As I saw the finish line I heard shouting over my music in my headphones. It was my mam and my two oldest daughters cheering me over the line. After handing over my timing chip, picking up water, a foil blanket and my goody bag I met my family at the well sign posted meet up point.

The organisation of this run was fantastic. There were plenty of marshalls who clapped the runners on around the course. The goody bag included a weighty medal, a training shirt, a bottle of powerade (yuck), an Eat-natural bar, several travel cans of deodorant, some biscuits, some energy sweets, some tissues and body lotion.

By the time I got home to Newcastle I was able to check my official time on the Great Run website and was pleased with the finish time of 38.49, which considering the slow uphill start was better than I thought.

I've been drinking Cherry Active drink after training and did immediately after the run yesterday and can honestly say that my legs felt great today. I've had no aches or stiffness at all.

My next run is in March in Leeds and is a 10k. So now I'm increasing my training run distances. I'm looking forward even more to the Great North Run in September after experiencing Great Run's organisation.

New Year, no excuses.

Well Christmas is well and truly over. I don't think I'd ever write that I was on Tynemouth beach participating in a bootcamp on both Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, but it happened. If this impossible thing can happen then maybe Newcastle CAN win a trophy in my lifetime, well maybe, well ok I know it's unlikely, lol.

I didn't go overboard with my food at Christmas, but I definitely relaxed a bit. Last year (2010) I found Christmas and New Year a really difficult time to deal with being sober. It seemed like everyone was out drinking and it drove me crazy not being able to drink. This year though, drinking hasn't even crossed my mind, and the 2 year and 5 month mark of my sobriety passed without me even noticing. I see this as progress as when I first stopped drinking I was counting hours, not even days, and now months are passing and I didn't even notice.

I weighed myself on Christmas Eve, and again on the 2nd January, and was really surprised and utterly delighted that I had lost 1.5lbs. But instead of making me think "Heck I can just relax my food and I'll still lose weight" it's made me more determined to stick to the healthy lifestyle I was before the depression hit me really badly. I know that for my long term goals to be realised I need to stick to the regime, and that is a healthy diet and exercising.

I am doing the Great Winter Run in Edinburgh this Saturday. This is going to be only my second ever 5k and I'm really looking forward to it. It's hard not to want to beat my time in Glasgow, but I'm going to try and be a realist and just set myself a time I want to beat generally, without taking Glasgow into consideration. I ran 4.13 miles on New Years Day and felt really sluggish and my legs felt really heavy, but I ran 4.22 miles today and was over 4 and a half minutes quicker. This leaves me feeling positive for Saturday. I'm just going to go out there and do my best.

I am also delighted to say that my fundraising for the NSPCC was boosted massively over Christmas and New Year and through my friends generosity currently stands at £351. I feel genuinely humbled by people's belief in me and it spurs me on to keep going. September's Great North Run seems a long way away but I know it will be here before I know it, and so each and every donation means so much. My justgiving page is here if you want to look.  Thank you to everyone who has donated and given me moral support. I can't tell you how much it means.

Reflections

Last week the doctor put me on Zopiclone for alternate nights and it has made a huge difference. To be able to sleep has been fantastic. It has helped me to be able to battle the mood swings and deal with the anxiety a lot better. I am also feeling that although there are times which are hard I have the strength to battle them. 

So I've decided to reflect on what I have done this year and focus on what I aim to do next year. At the start of 2011 I wasn't sure where I was going with my life. I had spent 3 months in hospital with abdominal problems which required 3 lots of surgery before they realised it was my gall bladder. This had left me feeling really depressed, and I got a new care co-ordinator to help me with my ongoing mental health and other problems that stem from Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. 

One of the main things I wanted to tackle was my weight though. I was so unhappy at being the weight I was, it was the heaviest I have ever had. I knew I had to do something about it. This was me at my heaviest, I was so unhappy with how much I weighed. 

And so with the help of my very good friend and motivator Mark Allison and the lads at David Fairlamb fitness  I embarked on my weight loss journey, raising over £520 for Mental Health Matters on the way. I have lost over 3 stone since Easter, and decided that I wanted to give myself a health goal too, and so entered the Great North Run 2012 running for the NSPCC. In October I ran my first ever 5k fun run, in a fairly respectable time of 36 mins 37 seconds which I was absolutely delighted with! 

I am due to run my second 5k run in Edinburgh in the Great Winter Run on January 8th, and have several 10k runs booked in before next September's big one. With help from my magnificent friends and family I have raised nearly half of my sponsorship goal already on my just giving page. I can't believe the financial support I have received, but what means so much more than that is the incredible moral support I have had from my mates. They have shown me that they believe in me and that is what keeps me going. 

This isn't only with the running and fitness though. When depression has hit me they have been there for me, with little messages of support, even when they themselves have been hurting, this was illustrated no more clearly than when Gary Speed tragically left us. At that point I was already struggling with an episode of depression, and even through they themselves were dealing with the shock and grief of losing a hero, I had friend's sending me messages asking how I was coping. I appreciate that so much, I can't even put it into words. However, it wasn't just at this tragic time when I found support. Messages on twitter urging me on meant so much to me, just to know that they cared. Thank you, it has really helped me so much.

And so I am now looking into 2012 and I have set myself some goals for the coming 12 months. I am half way through my first year at University studying Criminology, after receiving 4 unconditional offers. So I want to get my first year completed. Secondly I want to get to my goal weight in 2012. Thirdly I want to achieve my Great North Run goal. I am sure with the continuing help and support from my brilliant friends and family, and also the help from David Fairlamb and his team I will get there and when I reflect on 2012 I want to feel as happy as I feel reflecting on 2011! 

We've got a piper down, a piper down!

I went out for a run immediately after my last blog post. I made sure I warmed up and stretched before leaving the house and felt really excellent. Very strong, very happy with how I was going. When I was 3 and a half miles in I started to run up a relatively small hill and immediately felt my calf tighten up. Stupidly I thought it was just a niggle, and so continued running but by the time I got home I knew I was limping as I ran.

Once I was home I knew straight away that I had a problem with my calf muscle, and what started as a bit of an ache proceeded to become something that was damn sore. I immediately contacted David Fairlamb via twitter to find out what I should do and he immediately told me to get some ice on it and rest!

As instructed I have iced my calf for 20 mins at a time with my high-tec ice-pack, aka a bag of frozen mixed-veg pack, several times a day. I have been resting my leg as much as a single mam with three kids who is doing a degree at University can do, I've been taking some paracetamol and ibuprofen and just trying not to worry.

However my goal of doing the Great North Run next year is firmly in the forefront of my mind and I have my runs for next year planned so that I can get to be able to do the half-marathon come next September. So the idea of having no running for at least two weeks, and possibly longer depending on how long this injury takes to heal has really knocked me.

What has really affected me though is how my head has been messed up by this. This part of my blog has been really hard for me to write, and I guess it's because I have to be honest about some really hard stuff. Mental heath is still a taboo subject and one that can be so difficult to share with others, but I feel that it's only right that I am honest about the difficulties I am facing as well as the triumph's that I have on this journey. I feel really depressed by getting injured and I mean really depressed. I have living with depression since I was a teenager, and its a massive part of my underlying illness. My eating in the past has always been an emotional thing, and as soon as depression kicks in my eating goes off the rails. I have also made myself sick in the past to get rid of the food I have eaten

I wish I could say that my eating hasn't been affected but it has. I am really angry that I have allowed myself this to happen. I have struggled with alcoholism, and even though its hard it doesn't compared to my addiction to eating shite. So now I am beating myself up about eating. I have had several times since Tuesday when I have eaten something and felt so angry about it afterwards. I even thought about making myself throw up at one point to purge myself of the food. So now my biggest issue is not the injury, but dealing with the emotions that go along with it.

I am seeing my care manager and my occupational therapist this week, and I will be honest with them about what is happening. The depression has left me feeling tired and I am being so hard on myself. I want to be able to do everything that I see other people doing, and I hate the limitations that the depression puts on me. I also know that this journey is a (half) marathon and not a sprint, and I can't let this blip affect me in the long run.

So now it's about accepting the support I need to get through this spell, making sure I don't start running again before my calf is healed, finding some exercise I can do in the meantime to keep me going and getting my eating back on track. New goals for this little period, but the little goals all lead to the big goal.

Goooooaaaaalllllll!!!!!

Saturday saw me back at David Fairlamb's beach bootcamp for the first time in a couple of months, due to family commitments. Boy had I missed it. A year ago a workout on Tynemouth Longsands on a November morning would have sounded like torture but in reality it's amazing! Dave and his team are just magnificent. Before I first started going to the bootcamp I emailed Dave and told him that I was anxious about going because of my size, and I got a lovely email back from him encouraging me to come along. It still took me a couple of months before I plucked up the courage to go though, but I am so pleased I did.

Dave and his lovely assistants (hehehe), Tony and Mark, are probably the most encouraging, motivating and inspirational guys I know (along with my pal Mark Allison). It doesn't really matter what fitness level you are at, Dave and the lads will get the best out of you. There are proper athletes at the bootcamps, and then there is me, lol, plodding along at the back, but still giving 100%. The thing is, though, the whole group is encouraging.

In the photo above is the extremes of bootcamp. Paul is an amazing runner, he recently won the Newcastle Scramble and is super fit, behind him is me, who recently completed their first 5k and when I started bootcamp couldn't run up the hill in the picture once, never mind the three times which is my PB.

However, Paul always has a kind word to say to me, he will urge me on to keep going as he races past and just knowing that he, and the others who also give me positive feedback on my efforts, can see that I am trying my best mean so much to me. It's such a friendly, welcoming, accepting group, plus you have the best looking gym in the world. Nothing beats Tynemouth on a saturday morning, and I much prefer working out there than in a gym looking at the walls. Get yourself down there, I couldn't recommend it highly enough.

On to my weight, and when I was weighed on Monday I had lost 3lbs. After being stuck on 49lbs for several weeks this loss pushed me through the 50lbs lost and on towards my next goal of 56lbs, which would be 4 stone. It's still surreal that I am 50lbs lighter than I was at Easter. All I can say is that it is totally worth taking care with my food and ensuring I'm putting the right fuel in, and doing the exercise too.

I'm thinking of joining a running club and was recommended Tyne Bridge Harriers. I'm hoping to get a babysitter sorted for the little one so that I can get myself along. I have a plan of how I'm going to be able to run 13 miles by next September, and I need to make sure that I have the necessary support along the way. Talking of support, I just want to thank each and every one of you who have sponsored me to get to my target for the NSPCC. If you want to add your support you can at my just giving page here and you can be assured that each and every donation means so much to me, and it really spurs me on to know so many people believe in me.

Right, I'm off for a run. Catch you all soon.

Just did it!

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy with University, which is actually a great thing I guess. So much has happened since my last post. I finished the c25k programme which was amazing. I wasn't sure what I was going to do after c25k and initially thought I would do a bridge to 10k type programme but instead I have starting just using my Nike+ app to help me run further and its working.

So some big news, I have entered the Great North Run for 2012. I will be raising funds for the NSPCC, in fact I have already raised 1/3 of my total on my justgiving page. So its now real, I am now training for what I see as one of the biggest challenges of my life. I have an idea of how I am going to get to be able to run 13.1 miles by next September and have decided that I am going to run a series of organised runs between now and then to get me there. I am also going to keep going to David Fairlamb's bootcamps to improve my general fitness and keep the weight coming off.

So obviously one of my goals when I made the decision to start running was to be able to run an actual 5k and I can now cross that off my list now. Yesterday I competed in my first ever 5k fun run in Glasgow. I was confident that I could do the actual run, and even though publically I said I didn't want to think about a time to run it in I had a personal goal in mind to run it in 42 mins. I still have a long way to go weight wise and so I thought 42 mins would be ok for me.

I've got to say I was nervous before the event, and made us of the portaloo's before the run for a last minute wee. However once we got going I felt great. I made use of my iphone and my Nike+ and didn't look at how others were running, I just wanted to run my own race.

My Nike+ updated me after the first mile and I had ran it in seconds over 12 minutes. I was completely amazed at that, and so I decided that if I could do the second mile in just on 14 minutes I would bring my goal time to 40 mins to complete the 5k. I got to the second mile and my time was 24 minutes and 17 seconds, I really couldn't believe it! I felt comfortable, I felt as if I was running at a pace I could handle and so I decided at that point I wanted to aim for 37 mins to finish in!

The last mile felt brilliant, I kept going, and could see the finish line from different angles for the last kilometre. As I turned the final corner I could see my mam and my two oldest kids and it brought out a burst of speed from me, and I ran past them pumping my fist and yelling "COME ON!!!!"

As I crossed the line I stopped my Nike+ app and it read 36.37 mins. I was ecstatic, I hi-fived a bloke dressed as a teddy bear, I got given my medal and a goody bag (which had a bottle of water and an orange in it, ooooh) and made my way over to my folks. I was completely buzzing, and couldn't stop saying, "I did it in 36 minutes 37 seconds!" My mam said she couldn't believe it when I came around the corner as she hadn't been expecting me for another 5-10 minutes but that I had looked comfortable.

So I had my first run under my belt, and damn it felt good. But I am well aware that there is still a lot of running to be done before the Big One in 2012. So I have more runs entered. I am now in the Great Winter Run in Edinburgh just after New Year, the Wrap Up and Run 10k in Yorkshire in March, the Sunderland City 10k in May and the 2012 Jane Tomlinson 10k event in Leeds in July. I'm sure I will be getting more official run practice too. I want to make sure that I am completely ready before next September.

My weight loss has stabilised over the last few weeks, but I am aware of why this is, and I know what I need to do to get my weight loss going again. Therefore I am going to give myself a kick up the bum to get the pounds moving again. First up is getting back to bootcamp regularly, and I plan to be back there on Saturday. Secondly is making sure my food shopping is better organised, long days at university have meant that there have been times when I have been neglecting to make the sensible choice.

My motivation has been boosted by everyone who has supported me, and getting that first run done has definitely got my resolve back. I still want to have lost 70lbs by Christmas and it's still doable, I just need to be focused.