Still on a sick note....

Hey there, 

Well I wish I could give you good news. But nope, I've been continuing the physio which has made slight progress. But nothing has really changed. I feel like I'm taking two tiny steps forward and one big step back. It's hard to describe because although I know there is progress it's so slow and so minimal that I don't feel like it can be measured week by week. I am better than I was back in February but not good enough to walk yet. 

Helen the physio at Physio Plus has been amazing. Not only has she dealt with the injuries to my foot and leg but she's seen me go up and down in mood. It certainly distracts me when she's trying to unknot my calf muscle if I can talk to her about how I'm feeling about being injured. Helen's tried all the conventional treatments on me for plantar fasciitis. Massage, both in my calf which knots up every week to some extent, and in my plantar fascia. That is sore, but it's the kind of pain that you know is actually doing good. She can feel the inflammation in my foot and can judge how it's doing. She's also used ultrasound therapy on the sole of my foot and taping. 

We have also tried acupuncture. I think I'm the biggest sceptic in the world when it comes to alternative and complementary therapies. But I was willing to give it a go. Helen placed tiny thin needles down my calf which didn't hurt at all. I couldn't even feel them. Then she got to the foot. Now if you think about a foot there isn't much padding down there around the bones and in the arch of the foot. So sticking needles under my ankle bone and by my toe joints wasn't pleasant, but was bearable. We then had a discussion about whether to try a point directly in the plantar fascia, basically in the arch of the foot. After consulting with Cathryn, another physio, Helen thought it might be worth a try and I just said "oh go on give it a go!" 

Helen went to put the needle in the sole of my foot, and as it went in I took off from the bed! The pain was bad enough to make me jump! That caused Helen to jump, while Cathryn dissolved into a fit of giggles. After extracting me from a supply cupboard located at the end of the massage bed (no not really) a mutual decision was made to take that needle straight out! Despite my new long jump/high jump PB from a lying flat position, acupuncture didn't really do much.    
I have to say, working with physios who actually have a laugh and a human side, as well as being professional helps so much. I'm able to be honest with Helen about what I think is making a difference and what isn't

I had an appointment with a foot and ankle specialist at the hospital too. I really didn't know what to expect when I went to see him. Helen wrote him a letter describing what we had tried. He asked me to tell him about the injury and said that he thought the first course of treatment should be a cortisone injection into the plantar fascia. My heart sank. Not just because I'd only had a needle in the base of my foot a few weeks earlier courtesy of Helen, but because I've heard about how painful cortisone injections are. But I know that this isn't clearing up on its own. So I sat on the bed and asked the nurse "is this going to hurt?" To which she replied "yes, unfortunately!" Wow, thanks for that, lol. 

Cortisone is a steroid injection which is mixed with a local anaesthetic to help it spread. The doctor felt around the arch of my foot to find where the pain was most acute then injected it. It's done quite slowly. The pain is immense I must say and I did hold the nurses hand. The local anaesthetic numbs the foot for several hours. So by the time I got to the car park my foot was completely asleep. The anaesthetic wore off though after about 3 hours and oh my god did the pain kick in. The cortisone can cause a flash reaction where the pain increases temporarily and I ended up back on my crutches for 2 days. 

Once the immediate pain of the flash wore off I was anxiously hoping for an improvement in my foot, however up to now, 8 days later, my foot feels the same as it did before the jab. I have to go back to the hospital in 6 weeks and the doctor has said he is then going to consider a treatment that is basically when my own blood is taken and injected into the damaged tendon. 

My mood has been up and down over the past few weeks. I honestly believe the Internet does more good than harm but you always get idiots. A group of keyboard warriors found this blog and decided to take the piss out of me for running, having been overweight and diabetic and my mental health problems. I find it strange that people think that by throwing something I'm completely honest about they're going to hurt me. I mean calling someone "fat" or "forest gump" is rather infantile even by my standards, and I'm not the most grown up adult out there, however I believe it said more about them than me. I'll always be proud of what I achieved through running and even though this injury has become more serious than I thought I'll get back to running eventually. 

Helen and I have discussed the running and come to a decision that 2013 is not realistic to run again as I can't walk without pain. So I'm using the rest of the year to recover and start psyching myself up for 2014. It's been hard deferring my places that I already had in runs, mentally seeing others start the road running season with aims and goals really did hit hard. But I can come back stronger next year by taking it easy and doing as I'm told this year. 

As you know I like to raise funds for charity and this year it's for David Rathband's blue lamp foundation.  I had said I'd run all year for them but that's not possible so I've had a rethink. I'm now going to swim 190 miles for the cause, which was David's badge number, and ironically the distant between the Tyne Bridge and Stafford University, as I'm a Geordie lass and David was from Stafford. I'm just thankful he wasn't Tango 1900 as 190 miles is far enough to swim. If you want to donate to my just giving page it's at www.justgiving.com/howaythelass and I'm aiming to raise £1000, to help the emergency services personnel injured on duty. Any donations are received with thanks. 

So that's where I'm at. A long way to go. But you know me, I'm not one for giving in! 

13.1 miles or bust

Ahhh depression, my arch nemesis. You stride into my life again! Yup, just as I thought things were going hunky dory then my little black rain cloud found me for another week or so of trying times. I knew that it was basically a time for me to lick my wounds for a little while, take it easy and then power back into real life and get on with it.

I got all my exam results back and passed my first year at University. To say I am proud of that is an understatement. I was dreading an August return for resits as it would clash with the bairns' summer holidays and revision would be nigh on impossible with the children around. But I passed all exams and can now relax over the summer and recharge the batteries ready for September and year 2.

The running took a back seat for the week where I didn't feel too well. I was elated after the Blaydon Race and had hoped to capitalise on a great run with some more excellent training, but when you haven't got the energy to do much more than drag yourself out of bed each day running has to take a spell on the back burner.

However I managed to try a run last Tuesday, got half a mile into it, felt my nose running and went to wipe it. I was surprised to see blood, and then realised that I was having the mother of all nosebleeds for no apparent reason. There was no stopping the blood and I knew my run was going to be postponed when someone on a bike asked me if I was going to be ok. When I got back home I looked as if I had survived the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. No point in keeping the t-shirt, into the bin it went, and off I went into the shower.

The next day I went out again. This time there was no Freddy Kruger victim impressions, just a nice 5km run to get me back into the swing of running and I knew I felt much better. I found myself agreeing to attempt a 13.1 mile run on the Saturday as part of the Longest Day Run event.  The next day I got a solid 5 mile run in and felt great.

I felt the nerves kick in on the Friday night, what the heck had I agreed to do? My longest run so far was 8 miles and that was a couple of months ago. What made me think I could run 13.1 miles yet? I went to Sweatshop in the Metrocentre and bought some gels and some lucozade Jelly beans to try out on my run. I was happy to see a Blue Lamp Foundation collection tin in the shop too.

I was up bright and early on the Saturday Morning and headed to Byker Pool to meet my running partners Graham and Brian. Graham is running 2012 miles in 2012 for the Tony Blair Foundation and is an all round nice guy to boot. I had only met Brian once before but he seemed like a friendly chap, although for some reason I thought he was called Billy all day and kept calling him that, lol.

We set off at a very easy pace. From the Pool we headed down towards the River Tyne and along the Quayside, past the Millenium, Tyne and Swing Bridges and along the front of the Copthorne Hotel before heading up towards the Scotswood road through the business park. Four miles were already in the bag, and I took one of the energy gels I had bought. My goodness, they are an aquired taste!

As we were running along the Scotswood road I would love to say that I remembered the Blaydon Race from the previous blog posting, but seeing as I couldn't see a blooming thing on that run due to the rain I couldn't. The lads were great company, chatting, keeping the mileage updated and being really positive.

Up and over the Scotswood bridge, and onto the south side of the Tyne. We were closing in on the half way point and I can't think of a time I have been as happy to set foot on the south side of the river. We had broken the back of the run now, we were heading back towards Newcastle and here was the time to dig in and run.

We passed the Metro Centre, all chewed a few lucozade jelly beans, and headed into Dunston. I found that I had a claggy mouth, due to the gels and the lucozade isotonic drink I was supping and so we had a 2 minute pit stop while Graham bought a bottle of water. I knew I needed water as I had been fantasising about soda water for the past half a mile, while Brian said he was looking forward to a Strongbow!

I then found that it's easy to just keep running than trying to restart after a brief stop. I can only describe it as trying to get an old motorbike to start again. After a brief splutter my legs started again, and we headed along to the riverside. I could see the bridges up ahead and knew that we would be around the 10 mile mark when we got to the swing bridge.

My legs were still feeling ok at this point, breathing fine, but I knew I was starting to feel a bit tired. I was now concentrating on the end of the run rather than just enjoying the run, as I had been up to that point. We ran along the south side of the river, along passed the Sage and then across the Millenium bridge. More water was needed and we had a quick stop at the Tesco behind the court. Then off towards the back of the Copthorne Hotel, and 11 miles was clocked up. I told Graham not to tell me how far we had run until we got to 12 miles, as I was starting to really struggle now.

Along the Quayside once again, past the swing bridge, under the Tyne bridge, passed the Pitcher and Piano and the Millenium bridge again. Passed the 12 mile mark. And then disaster. My head said "NO MORE!" We were at 12.3 miles, less than a mile to go and I had stopped. My legs felt like lead, my head was saying "You can't go on" I felt like crying. Graham and Brian came back and really gave me a good pep talk. I just had to tell myself that I could do it. Less than a mile. HOWAY THE LASS!!!

And with determination from somewhere, I don't know where, I put one foot in front of the other. I dug deep and just let the lads go in front of me. They kept calling back to me, but I wasn't really sure what was being said, I was just in a place where there was just me, just one foot in front of the other, each step getting me closer to the end of the run. And then Graham and Brian had created a finish line and said "All the way across the line" and as I staggered past them I realised I had done it! 13.1 miles! I had made it!

A look at Brian's Garmin told me a time of 2 hours 54 mins and 27 seconds. Under 3 hours! I couldn't believe it! For a lass who couldn't run for more than 30 seconds at a time last August finishing my first half marathon distance run was mind-blowing. And I have 3 months until the Great North Run to improve my time.

Graham and me after finishing the 13.1 miles. 

My legs felt like cement from the minute I stopped running. We finished just beside where the Evolution festival is held and had to walk back up the hill to Byker pool, my little legs were screaming out in agony with each step, I could feel blisters on my left foot, one which popped as I was walking back. But I had done it, the elation of completing the longest run of my life made each step bearable. Thank you Graham and (Billy) Brian who carried me, metaphorically, to the finish. I now know that I can do the full half-marathon distance, I now know that come September I WILL finish the Great North Run!

A busy month

Hey ho,

It's been a while but I've had a busy month. Nothing major, just lots of uni work as exam time is upon us and the usual life getting in the way of stuff kinda thing.

My last post talked about how I felt I was under a bit of a black cloud. Things have definitely improved since then. It's a bit like being on a rollercoaster at times, you just have to hang on in there.

Running has been a bit of an effort at times. It has seemed like a lot of hard work and it hasn't been until the last week or so that I've felt that I'm enjoying it again. That aside I've done some great things with the runner. My club, Tyne Bridge Harriers, held a fundraising event for the Children's Heart Unit at the Freeman Hospital and The Freeman Heart and Lung Transplant Association  which was completed in around about 6 hours. It was fabulous to be part of the team and we were also joined by some of the recipients of donor organs who ran a lap, the Fit Factor team from the Journal and my friend and one of my inspirations Graham Smith who is running 2012 miles this year to raise money for the Tony Blair Sports Foundation which helps train volunteer coaches and officials so that more young people can get into sports.

I was meant to do the City of Sunderland 10k on the 6th May, however it was Newcastle United's last home game of the season and I would have been struggling to get back in time for kick off. I decided to change my plans and enter the Greggs Children's Cancer Run the following week instead, and managed to avoid a trip to the dark side, lol.

The Gregg's run is held at Newcastle race course and goes through the woods surrounding it. With the typical British summer weather it meant that the route was really clarty. Unlike other runs I've done there was no set starting time, people are allocated their number and are told to start anytime in an hour long slot. I hadn't experienced anything like this before and wondered if it would work. However I needn't have worried. At the start line it was like being at a theme park, lining up to start, being brought forward in a little group before being set away, and I have to admit that I had some nerves that were not dissimilar to those I might have felt had I been queueing for a white knuckle ride.

We set away, and I was quickly into a nice pace for me, and started really enjoying running through the mud and puddles and laughing at people who were gingerly trying to pick their way through. That was until the two mile point. An unexpected incline, some mud and a woman in front of me deciding to change her running line to directly into me saw me go flat on my front trying to avoid her. But I was straight up and running again, after throwing her a dirty look (to match my dirty hands and knees).

The distances were questionable. The first mile sign came at just over a mile according to my garmin, the second a good 200m before the 2nd mile, the 3rd came when my garmin said 2.6 miles and the 4 mile sign was placed at around about 3.65 miles according to the gps. I didn't know if it was me or the signs that were wrong but after asking some other runners afterwards it seems that they are quite free and easy with the mileage usually. However it didn't spoil the run any.

After crossing the finish line which is parallel to the racecourse itself, you are handed a medal (I love a medal when I've finished a run), a Greggs goody bag, consisting of a cheese and onion pasty, a gingerbread man and an apple, some water and another apple before you go to a stand where you collect your t-shirt.

Looking cream crackered after finishing 

Another medal for the collection

I definitely think that the Age Concern Run organisers can learn a lot from the Gregg's run organisers. The whole set up from Parking to good bag's after was a lot better and it's a run I'm looking forward to doing again next year. 

On Tuesday it was the second Grand Prix of the season at the running club. I was in two minds whether to go due to having an exam on the Wednesday but I am glad I did now, because I finished second and knocked a massive 1 minute 40 seconds off my previous time. To say I was buzzing would be an understatement. Achievements like this remind me why I started running, and why I continue. 

On Saturday I was going to give Park Run a miss due to a massively busy schedule but Graham asked if I was going so I said I would, then my friend Karen said she would come too. There was no PB today but Graham ran alongside me all the way and it was great to have someone who was encouraging me on. He really is a great lad, and managed to convince me to sign up to do one of the half hour slots in his 24 hour treadmill challenge in June. Seeing as I hate treadmills I think he did very well getting me in there. 

This week sees the club running at the Clive Cookson 10k on Wednesday, where my friends are also running, so a sneaky (non-alcoholic) drink beckons afterwards, and then it's the track and field event for the harriers where I am chucking things (shot put and javelin) and hopefully not hitting anyone in the process. 

Catch you all soon! 

New Year, no excuses.

Well Christmas is well and truly over. I don't think I'd ever write that I was on Tynemouth beach participating in a bootcamp on both Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, but it happened. If this impossible thing can happen then maybe Newcastle CAN win a trophy in my lifetime, well maybe, well ok I know it's unlikely, lol.

I didn't go overboard with my food at Christmas, but I definitely relaxed a bit. Last year (2010) I found Christmas and New Year a really difficult time to deal with being sober. It seemed like everyone was out drinking and it drove me crazy not being able to drink. This year though, drinking hasn't even crossed my mind, and the 2 year and 5 month mark of my sobriety passed without me even noticing. I see this as progress as when I first stopped drinking I was counting hours, not even days, and now months are passing and I didn't even notice.

I weighed myself on Christmas Eve, and again on the 2nd January, and was really surprised and utterly delighted that I had lost 1.5lbs. But instead of making me think "Heck I can just relax my food and I'll still lose weight" it's made me more determined to stick to the healthy lifestyle I was before the depression hit me really badly. I know that for my long term goals to be realised I need to stick to the regime, and that is a healthy diet and exercising.

I am doing the Great Winter Run in Edinburgh this Saturday. This is going to be only my second ever 5k and I'm really looking forward to it. It's hard not to want to beat my time in Glasgow, but I'm going to try and be a realist and just set myself a time I want to beat generally, without taking Glasgow into consideration. I ran 4.13 miles on New Years Day and felt really sluggish and my legs felt really heavy, but I ran 4.22 miles today and was over 4 and a half minutes quicker. This leaves me feeling positive for Saturday. I'm just going to go out there and do my best.

I am also delighted to say that my fundraising for the NSPCC was boosted massively over Christmas and New Year and through my friends generosity currently stands at £351. I feel genuinely humbled by people's belief in me and it spurs me on to keep going. September's Great North Run seems a long way away but I know it will be here before I know it, and so each and every donation means so much. My justgiving page is here if you want to look.  Thank you to everyone who has donated and given me moral support. I can't tell you how much it means.

Just did it!

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy with University, which is actually a great thing I guess. So much has happened since my last post. I finished the c25k programme which was amazing. I wasn't sure what I was going to do after c25k and initially thought I would do a bridge to 10k type programme but instead I have starting just using my Nike+ app to help me run further and its working.

So some big news, I have entered the Great North Run for 2012. I will be raising funds for the NSPCC, in fact I have already raised 1/3 of my total on my justgiving page. So its now real, I am now training for what I see as one of the biggest challenges of my life. I have an idea of how I am going to get to be able to run 13.1 miles by next September and have decided that I am going to run a series of organised runs between now and then to get me there. I am also going to keep going to David Fairlamb's bootcamps to improve my general fitness and keep the weight coming off.

So obviously one of my goals when I made the decision to start running was to be able to run an actual 5k and I can now cross that off my list now. Yesterday I competed in my first ever 5k fun run in Glasgow. I was confident that I could do the actual run, and even though publically I said I didn't want to think about a time to run it in I had a personal goal in mind to run it in 42 mins. I still have a long way to go weight wise and so I thought 42 mins would be ok for me.

I've got to say I was nervous before the event, and made us of the portaloo's before the run for a last minute wee. However once we got going I felt great. I made use of my iphone and my Nike+ and didn't look at how others were running, I just wanted to run my own race.

My Nike+ updated me after the first mile and I had ran it in seconds over 12 minutes. I was completely amazed at that, and so I decided that if I could do the second mile in just on 14 minutes I would bring my goal time to 40 mins to complete the 5k. I got to the second mile and my time was 24 minutes and 17 seconds, I really couldn't believe it! I felt comfortable, I felt as if I was running at a pace I could handle and so I decided at that point I wanted to aim for 37 mins to finish in!

The last mile felt brilliant, I kept going, and could see the finish line from different angles for the last kilometre. As I turned the final corner I could see my mam and my two oldest kids and it brought out a burst of speed from me, and I ran past them pumping my fist and yelling "COME ON!!!!"

As I crossed the line I stopped my Nike+ app and it read 36.37 mins. I was ecstatic, I hi-fived a bloke dressed as a teddy bear, I got given my medal and a goody bag (which had a bottle of water and an orange in it, ooooh) and made my way over to my folks. I was completely buzzing, and couldn't stop saying, "I did it in 36 minutes 37 seconds!" My mam said she couldn't believe it when I came around the corner as she hadn't been expecting me for another 5-10 minutes but that I had looked comfortable.

So I had my first run under my belt, and damn it felt good. But I am well aware that there is still a lot of running to be done before the Big One in 2012. So I have more runs entered. I am now in the Great Winter Run in Edinburgh just after New Year, the Wrap Up and Run 10k in Yorkshire in March, the Sunderland City 10k in May and the 2012 Jane Tomlinson 10k event in Leeds in July. I'm sure I will be getting more official run practice too. I want to make sure that I am completely ready before next September.

My weight loss has stabilised over the last few weeks, but I am aware of why this is, and I know what I need to do to get my weight loss going again. Therefore I am going to give myself a kick up the bum to get the pounds moving again. First up is getting back to bootcamp regularly, and I plan to be back there on Saturday. Secondly is making sure my food shopping is better organised, long days at university have meant that there have been times when I have been neglecting to make the sensible choice.

My motivation has been boosted by everyone who has supported me, and getting that first run done has definitely got my resolve back. I still want to have lost 70lbs by Christmas and it's still doable, I just need to be focused.