Basically since December my period has been continuous with only 7 days where I haven't been bleeding. I am absolutely exhausted. I've been to the doctors, she has done various (unpleasant) tests and everything has come back clear. So now I am on some tablets to stop me from bleeding for the next ten days to give my body a rest and I have to go for an ultrasound scan.
Secondly my middle child is going through a pretty bad spell. She has some emotional problems and has been refusing to go to school meaning that every day is a battle. She has been given a "managed move" so that she can try another school but this has taken a while to get through, and in the meantime her behaviour has been appalling and has been so stressful to me and the other bairns. She is now attending CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services) and I am hoping that this can help her.
These things have obviously had a knock-on effect with my training and also my diet, but I also know that I am needing to get my head back on track. I can't use these as an excuse. So I have decided to draw a line under the last few weeks and this week is the start of new things.
I went to David Fairlamb's bootcamp on Saturday, despite feeling a bit rough with the health problems mentioned earlier, but I wanted to give 100% and was completely shattered when I finished. We had an unusual participant at bootcamp this week. Mark Allison (aka RunGeordieRun) is toying with the idea of doing the London Marathon dressed as a lion (as you do) and so completed bootcamp in his costume. He looked like he had been in a sauna when he took the head off at the end. I can't imagine how he managed it, as I find it hard enough to do bootcamp in jogging pants and 3 layers on a cold day.
I have entered the Blaydon Race in June. So that is another build up run booked in on my journey to the Great North Run in September. It's the same weekend as the Download festival that I was planning to go to, and part of me can't believe that I'm giving up 5 days of rocking out to run from Newcastle to Blaydon, but I know that come June I will have done the right thing. Running is becoming a massively important part of my life.
Then yesterday I had a particularly stressful morning with the bairn, and got home after an hour and a half's struggle to get her to go into school. My head was shouting to hit the bottle or reach for food and I was scared I was going to crack. So I put my running shoes on, headed to Tynemouth and went for a run. I have to use healthy coping strategies to deal with stress and going for a run is certainly preferable to comfort eating and I don't want to break my sobriety after 2 and a half years. Running along the coast is amazing, to be able to focus on the scenery, to be able to put my all in physically and to remember that back in August I could only run for 30 seconds with a 2 minute recovery is certainly better than binging on chocolate.
Then last night I returned to Tyne Bridge Harriers. I am determined to continue running with them, I feel like I can improve massively with them, and think I will be putting my application in to officially join them soon. I was running with Steve last night, and despite being slower than the others he kept me going, setting me small targets and encouraging me on. I know that as the weight comes off I will get faster, I still have a long way to go weight wise but by running, going to bootcamp and eating right I will get there.
As I am feeling tired I am wanting to make sure I get plenty of rest this week, and so I'm setting myself a 10.30pm bedtime this week. It can only do me good. So this next week is about being disciplined. I need to concentrate on my food, my exercise and also my sleep and make sure that I am hitting my targets. I will do it!
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